Sunday

So, it has been quite some time since I last went to mass/church. Today, Brian and I wavered back and forth whether or not to go. We decided to go, but we would leave early (or to the Catholics...right after Communion). Right as we got there and sat down, a nice old man came up to us and asked Brian to help take up the collection. Brian had no idea what he was really talking about but agreed as long as I did it too. So here we are in this huge Cathedral with a mile long aisle, and we have to go from our inconspicuous seats in the very back to standing up in front of the crowded Church. Basically we had to walk up to the front of the Church get the baskets with the long handle and go down the aisle shoving the basket in front of people's faces to guilt them into giving money. I think it is God's way of punishing us for missing Church for so long. We had to do this collection thing twice during the mass and even stand in the front of the Church during the whole Communion. I did not think I was nervous, but my armpits were drenched and basically I was preoccupied with my potential pit stains then doing a thorough money collecting job . So much for going to Church and paying attention. The whole time I was not thinking about God, but I was thinking about "I hope I look cute right now" and as I strutted down the aisle..."I kind of feel like I am on a cat walk!" Also, should I say, "thank you," or "God bless you," when someone gives a donation? I am a bad Catholic. After all the money collecting...I didn't even think to put money in the basket myself. Then again, I don't have an income, I have an ever growing debt. Oh well...I have learned my lesson. I should probably start attending Church more and from now on will sit closer to the front.
Amen!

Dedicated to Lora and Sarah

Tonight Lora and I helped think of blog names for Sarah Clark for about an hour. I thought my ideas were very clever and catchy. After all that, her roommate came up with her blog name, "Slark's Remarks". It's good...real good. Why did I not think of it? So, I had to put my creative ideas to use and thus I created my HILARIOUS blog name, which you can see above. I thought I have some pretty interesting stories working in the medical field day to day that I may be able to share. Everyone that knows me, knows I like to inform anyone who will listen about new medical facts that I learn. Well, here I can post that info without feeling too preachy to others. Also, I do a lot of stupid shit and am pretty awkward. I find myself thinking often that I am on some kind of hidden camera show and the whole world is watching in amusement.

I have many embarrassing moments to report, especially lately when it comes to patients. For example, the other day I got my stethoscope caught in my hair after listening to a patient's heart and lungs. Once I got it out and listened to her abdomen...I looked down to see a chunk of my hair attached to the end of my stethoscope on the patient's stomach. We both saw it lying there. Hmmm how do I recover from this? "Sorry, I shed a lot. Let me get that hair off your stomach." I know...I am smooth.

Oh and before I forget. I spray painted my car a few weekends ago on accident. How you may ask. Well, I went to Dodge City with Brian for his dad's 50th surprise birthday party. Brian's dad, Derek, is really into cars and likes to fix and clean them. So, I decided to clean the inside and outside of my car and detail it pretty well to impress him. I was pretty much done cleaning when I spotted this "Rust Eliminator" can sitting on the shelf in the garage. I have a pretty big rust spot by the back tire of my lovely Ford Taurus, and I thought, "Eureka!" I took the can and sprayed the rust area...it came out black in color, which I thought was just part of it's magic. I am all excited and go tell Brian to come out and look at the car...I had a surprise for him. His jaw drops and he says, "What's the hell did you do? You spray painted your car. You r car looks like the Mexican's cars around here." Well shit...the can never said spray paint. At least it was black and matched my car somewhat, although it did look pretty obvious it was spray painted. I begged Brian not to tell anyone, especially his dad. At that moment, Brian's dad walks out and says, "Don't tell me what?" Crap! After some surprise and a lot of laughing, Derek said it was fine and that it didn't look "that" bad but proceeded to get supplies to scrub some of the paint off. All in all, it turned out ok and doesn't look too terrible anymore, but that story was told to all the friends and family of the Seacats about 50 times that night and I continue to hear about the incident every time I am around their family.