Labor and Delivery Top 10

I have been MIA lately mainly because of Labor and Delivery. I have been working L&D (as those in the biz call it) for the past two months (1 month on days and 1 month on nights). The days are long, but busy so they go by really fast. I felt stupid a lot, but rapidly gained confidence. By the end of these past months, I feel like I kinda (I use that term loosely) know what I am doing. Here are my top 10 experience/things I have learned/funny stories:

10) A vagina is a vagina is a vagina. People are pretty self-conscious and uncomfortable going to the ob/gyn, especially me. From the ob/gyn side of things...I could not tell you one vagina from another, unless I had to document something important for the patient's health. An attending (the boss physician) once told me it is like looking at a foot. I was thinking, "uh yeah right." But it totally is.

9) It is still cool and exciting to delivery babies. I got to deliver twin girls yesterday vaginally (I have only delivered twins via c-section once before). It was awesome!

8) I have become jaded. People come into our Ob Urgent Care/Triage often with the most ridiculous complaints sometime. Sore throat. Stuffy nose. Headache. They have not even tried anything at home and decided to come the the OB Emergency Room instead to spend their "insurance" (our tax payer money)on one $10-15 Tylenol pill they could have taken at home. Really?

7) One of the most common and awkward complaints...I think my water broke/I have discharge. Me: "Any recent intercourse?" Patient: "Why yes this morning." Me: "Could it be semen?" Patient: " Oh maybe." Really people?

6) The Dry Erase Board has all our patients in labor or high risk patients that we are actively following on it. There is always someone on it and the majority of the time it is pretty full. One time while on L&D Nights it was empty. It only lasted an hour, but it was still pretty exciting for us. The little things.


5) One of the scariest OB emergencies happened to me during a delivery, when I was alone and all my upper level residents and my attending were in a c-section in the OR. It is called a shoulder dystocia. It usually happens to bigger babies. The head delivers, but the babies shoulder gets stuck behind the mother's pubic bone, as the umbilical cord is getting compressed and baby is losing oxygen. There are several maneuvers you can do to dislodge the shoulder, from moving mother's legs which opens her pelvis to breaking the babies clavicle or humerus, the last being push the baby back up and go for a c-section (last resort, with usually a bad outcome). I had only practiced these maneuvers on a doll before. It was pretty scary, but baby, mom, and I survived.

4) Best chief complaint from a patient in Urgent Care: "My hoochie feels like it is going to explode!"

3) I DEFINITELY want an epidural when I have a kid. Also, I have to support my husbands business.

2) I have delivered way to many young girls with braces.

1) I love my job. Even though there were some intense, draining, and very sad times, the good outweighs the bad. Even after a long, not so good day...I still feel very lucky to get to do what I do.